Attention Hell Mart Shoppers! is a serialized horror comedy audio drama podcast. Join us twice a month for the adventures of the staff of HelloMart, a big box super store unfortunately built on the buried gates of hell. Our cast of retail wage-slaves will battle the forces of darkness in order to bring you the very best in minimum wage customer service!
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Listen to My New Podcast!

Attention HellMart Shoppers! We’re now part of The Harmless Entertainment Network, and I’m on a new podcast where we discuss every SuperHero movie ever made! Click the link below and give it a listen!

Harmless Phosphorescence


Check out all our new network has to offer at our Patreon! 


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Season 2 Tease

November 18, 2019

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I have a New Show!

Thoreau here! I made a new show! It’s called 1994 and it’s premiering September 17th, 2018, but for now here’s the very frist teaser trailer! If you like HellMart I think you’ll like 1994. It stars James Oliva, Jordan Cobb, Paul Miscavage, Julia Schifini, Sarah Golding, Graham Rowat and many more! Head on over to htt:// for more info, got to or simply search for “1994” In the podcast app you’re currently using to subscribe! Thank you HellMart Shoppers!

1994 Streaming Art


July Special: Chet and Danny Blow Stuff Up!

Independence day is approaching in Strickland and there’s trouble in the basement. With special guest star Sarah Golding as Regional Manager Melinda Ashe.

Follow us on Twitter @thehellomart

Like us on Facebook at HellMart Podcast

Go to to get bonus episodes and tons of other great stuff!



Holiday Special

Attention HellMart Shoppers! Due to technical and personal issues it has come to our attention that in Strickland County Independence Day is celebrated on July 9th. Our holiday special will be released accordingly. Thank you for your patience.

Scenes From A HellMart: Meat Cute

Attention HellMart Shoppers! We have a brand new Mini-Episode just for you! This tells the tale of (not so) young love in the meat department of HelloMart.

We are also just dollars away from making our first Patreon goal. We briefly slipped past it in November, and so I had to make a Christmas Episode. If we can get above $200 again, by June 11th, I’ll produce a full length 4th of July episode! So tell your friends, tell your family, tell the guy that’s squatting in your tool shed. You just need $1 to help support us, although higher pledges get you cool stuff!



April Announcement

Attention HellMart Shoppers!


Hi everyone, Thoreau here. This is just a quick post to let you all know about two new things we’ve got going on in the HelloMart this month. First, we have an Easter Episode available for you to listen to. It’s a patreon exclusive, but you can hear it now for free! Just go to or follow the link in the show notes. It’s currently available for all to hear for free, but only in our patreon!


And secondly, we now have merchandise available for purchase! T shirts, mugs, phone cases, stickers and more! Just go to and search for attention HellMart Shoppers or follow the link in the show notes. You can now decorate your life in the essence of HellMart! Hurray!


And finally, stay tuned, also for news about a brand new show from us! Coming later this year, and at some point this summer we will have an update about when to expect season 2 of Attention HellMart Shoppers. Thank you for shopping HellMart. We hope you never leave!



Attention HellMart Shoppers! Our Easter Special is now available free to the public! But, here’s the catch, you have to listen to it on our patreon, and it’s only free this week. Next Sunday it goes back behind the Paywall. So, if you’re not yet a patron, listen soon. Thank you, and Happy Easter Fool’s Day!

UPDATE: Our Easter Episode is now available for the entire month of April!